Catalogue of Chicks

Welcome to the Catalog of Chicks — a place where you can meet everyday women and read about their extraordinary acts of bravery and courage. We hope you are inspired by their stories — we certainly are!

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<<Previous Chick Next Chick>>Jacqueline Lukasczewicz
Wilmington, DE
Submitted by: One Brave ChickJUNE 2009 FEATURED BRAVE CHICK -
JACQUELINE LUKASZEWICZ

This month, we are proud to introduce you to our Featured Brave Chick - Jacqueline Lukaszewicz. We hope that you too are moved by her story, her example and perserverance in spite of her circumstances.

JACQUELINE'S STORY

I was born in Wilmington, Delaware. I started working for the Air Force at age 19 and traveled for 13 years living in California, Turkey, Idaho, and Maryland.

My first child was my daughter - Inglish-Marie. For the first five years of my daughter’s life, I kept telling the doctor’s that she couldn’t hear. I was told I was a paranoid first time mother and sent on my way. Five years later, and after a great deal of insistence on my part, it was finally confirmed she was completely deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other. Lesson learned - They should have listened to me in the first place.

When my son Josh was born three years later, he was almost 13 pounds and all seemed well. That was until he was about 18 months old. Again, doctors couldn’t figure out why this bundle of a boy was withering away to nothing before my very eyes. I knew if they didn’t do something soon I was going to lose this child. Once again, I demanded that the doctors listen to me and admit him to the hospital - the only way they were getting me out of the hospital was to arrest me. Two weeks later, we came home from the hospital with a vague understanding that my son would always have bowel issues but he would grow out of it by age 5 or 6. He was always my child will strange illnesses, but I listened to the doctors in hopes that my now skinny little boy would grow out of all the illness as the doctor’s told me he would.

I moved back to Delaware in 1997. I was divorced and raising two small children. I met the love of my life and husband of ten years Mark (on a blind date set up by a friend). He had two small children - Marc and Alex. Both children were so close in age to my own that they could be twins. The uniting of these two families was no small undertaking. Mark was a widow and my ex-husband gave up his parental rights so we were it for parents!

This is where my life changed forever. Alex has Autism and Marc (we now know) is high functioning on the same spectrum disorder. At this same time, Josh was turning five and was supposed to be outgrowing his bowel disorder. Nothing could be farther from the truth, he had in fact lost complete bowel function. The race was on to find out what was happening with Josh and with the help of the awesome doctors at A.I. DuPont Children’s Hospital, we were told that he had severe Crohn’s disease. At this point I was thinking, “Ok, he will take some medicine and he will be fine.” I soon learned that I couldn’t be further from the truth and I have a chronically ill child that will face a road that I could not begin to imagine.

So now I am the mother of two children on the Autism spectrum, one severe the other very high functioning, but not without challenges, a child with who was deaf and hard of hearing and now a child with Crohn’s Disease.

The past ten years have been filled with hospitals, doctors, counselors, behavioral specialists, speech and language pathologists, specialists and the list goes on and on. Each special circumstance with my children presented new challenges that we had to face and it wasn’t an easy road. Remember we were newlyweds in the process. My limits have been tested each and every day. Since I am the outspoken one in the house, I am the one who ends up shooting to the roof tops.

On any given day, I could be dealing with any one particular circumstance but the one that I never saw coming was the manifestation of bi-polar and borderline personality disorder in one of my children. It has been a devastating mental illness to understand. I hope you will take the time to read about the impacts for those afflicted and their families. One thing I learned is that as a parent - you need to catch this early in life. So please, if you think someone you love may be suffering from this - seek help as soon as possible.

Each of my children has taught me more about life than anything I could have ever learned in college. Yes - over the course of 14 years, I managed to finish my undergraduate degree in Business Management in 2008. So too did my husband in Engineering. Over those 14 years, I attended 6 colleges and universities to finish that degree. I transferred all of my credits to the University of Phoenix Online to finish my degree while my husband attended classes at night at Wilmington University. I did take my walk in Phoenix on graduation day at Cardinal’s Stadium and I participated in commencement - a long awaited walk! We are both currently working on our graduate degrees - my husband in teaching (wants to change careers) and I in Business Management. Yes, we must be nuts!

Jacqueline & Mark at Mark's Graduation

My days are challenging. I can tell you my son Alex (with Autism) is my easiest child. Most people do not believe this considering we had to teach him to talk, sign, and use pictures after the age of seven. Josh (with Crohn’s Disease) is my “let it roll” child - no matter what his disease presents him with he just lets it all roll. More importantly, I could never be the person that I am without my rock solid supportive husband at my side. He is my support system, my cape when I need to fly and my pillow when I need to sob, scream, cry and curse the world.

Jacqueline's Children

So in closing - remember, no matter what you are facing you are not alone…there is always a Brave Chick in the wings of life and motherhood.

Please visit this month's Bravery Blog to read a moving essay written by Jacqueline entitled - "Fill Your Jar With Sand And Pebbles".

If you would like to read more essays written by Jacqueline, please visit the Nemours website at http://www.nemours.org/hospital/de/aidhc/service/fac/newsletter.html If you are interested in learning more about any of the disorders mentioned, please visit the following websites: Crohn’s Disease - www.ccfa.org / Autism - www.delautism.org / Bi-Polar Personality Disorder - www.bpdresourcecenter.org <<Previous Chick Next Chick>>